The paramedic says, “Are you comfortable?”. He’s done it again!”, “When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. Hours go by and nobody sees the head monk. They avoid contact with humans so we suggest you attach small bells to your rucksacks and give the bears time to get out of your way. The young person’s guide to conquering (and saving) the world. Watch Best Funniest Vines EverBest Funniest Vines Ever - Astoremerson on Dailymotion. “Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says. Do Not Sell My Personal Information – CA Residents. !..”, “Welcome to Bible Study. #Top10funniestvideosever #world'sfunniestvideoseverseen #funniestvideoseverclean #funniestvideoseveronyoutube #funnyvideos #worldfunniestvideoevermustsee #bestfunnyvideos … There once were twin boys, age six, that had developed extreme personalities. Next, he moves into the dining room. Related: 15 of Cameron Dallas’s Funniest Vines Ever. Be sure to follow his brother Danny as well, another Viner on the rise who makes up hilarious fake hip-hop and R&B songs. Well, at least so far. You must know how hilarious it is to quote famous vine lines, but you may not know all the vine quotes, that is why we have bought you a list of some of the famous vine quotes that will bring a smile on your face. “They’re full of small bells.”, A man is struggling to find a parking space. He immediately smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and notices an empty wine bottle in the car. “No, this is the rink manager!” Try using one of these 19 cheesy pick-up lines that will guarantee anyone will laugh. basically this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcFaVfTDWcs. "Don't Be Afraid Of Love!" The 23 Funniest Vines Of All Time. here are 50 more jokes that everyone will laugh at. The apprentice did just as he was told. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing. “What are you doing!” says the husband. “Just cock your left shoulder up a little, like this, and tuck this left lapel under your chin a bit, like this.”. The Johns brothers have proven that a funny bone runs in the family. Here are the consistently funny Viners you should be following. … Zach.”, “CHRIS! The bartender shakes his head. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. Uncle Ted’s hiding in your closet and he’s got no clothes on!”. Don’t miss these 47 jokes that comedians admit to cracking them up. physics jokes that every science nerds will love. He isn't afraid to try new things, often adding tons of special effects and bizarre props. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Then I served my country in Iraq. “No this is a crayon-” I’m calling the police” *puts 911 into microwave* “911 what’s your emergency?”, *Blowing vape on table* * cameraman blows it away* “ADAM!”, “Would you like the spider in your hand?” “Yea.” “Say please.” “Please.” *puts spider in hand* *screams*, “Oh hi, thanks for checking in I’m still a piece of garrbaagge.”, “I love you bitch, I ain’t never gonna stop loving you, biiiiiitch.”, “Two bros, chilling in a hot tub, 5 feet apart cause they’re not gay.”, “So you just gonna bring me a birthday gift on my birthday to my birthday party on my birthday with a birthday gift?”, “Nice Ron” “I sneezed, oh, what, am I not allowed to sneeze?”, “A potato flew around my room before you came.”, “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life, watermelon, INSIDE A WATERMELON.”, “Uh, I’m not finished” “Oh my God, can you let me do what I need to do?”, “Wait oh yes, wait a minute Mr. Postman.” “HaaaAHH”, “…And they were roommates” “Mah God they were roommates!”, “Sleep? God says, “No. She isn't afraid to be extremely weird to total strangers, which is often when she gets the most laughs. Trying to dampen his out look, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with horse manure. “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.”–Phyllis Diller. Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?”, He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.”. Well, he doesn't exactly look like Jay, but his rap impressions are spot-on. Astoremerson. Posted on May 16, 2013, at 3:44 p.m. “But it was me first day with the hook.” We have 21 more pirate jokes that’ll make everyone crack up. Wtf, is that allowed? The video-sharing app turns a whopping 1 year old this week. Is that a weed? Let the arguments begin! 15 more witty bar jokes anyone can remember, 14 more jokes that only history buffs will understand, 15 holiday party jokes that will get laughs at any party, 21 more anti-jokes that are so funny you can’t help but laugh anyway, here are 50 jokes about all 50 United States. If you wanna be a dog…RUFF. This particular genie, however, states that she can deliver only one wish, not the standard three. Well, at least so far. This video is unavailable. He's so good he's even released original material that has charted on iTunes, and will soon be heading on tour. You must know how hilarious it is to quote famous vine lines, but you may not know all the vine quotes, that is why we have bought you a list of some of the famous vine quotes that will bring a smile on your face. A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in. A man was stranded on a desert island for 20 years when a navy ship finally spots him. “Oh,” said the farmer, “you’re looking for Murphy the spy. “My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a schnauzer, and I’m as jittery as a cat.”. ET Tweet Share Copy 1. 12, 2019. Here are 17 horse jokes that you can’t help but laugh at. But instead of yelping with delight, the little boy burst into tears. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. A young monk arrives at the monastery. He asks the dog’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?”. 125+ Best Vine Quotes Ever… Some people are just addicted to vines, well I am one of them and maybe you are too. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”, For his birthday, an old man’s nephews secretly hire a call girl for him. Watch fullscreen. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”, “Oh, no,” exclaims Bonnie. He can play multiple instruments, mimic any accent and steadily maintains a growing number of Vine alter egos. “When will you learn, THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?”, “I didn’t get no sleep cause of y’all, y’all not gone get no sleep cause of me!”, “Do you want to go see Uncle Cracker or no?”, “Hey my name is Trey, I have a basketball game tomorrow.”, “There is only one thing worse than a rapist.” “A child.”, “Ah f**k, I can’t believe you’ve done this.”, “F**k off Janet, I’m not going to your f**king baby shower.”, “Wtf, is this allowed? The blacksmith instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer.”. When he touches it, a genie comes forth. When I’m done, poof! The first guy says, “Let’s go in there for a pint.”, The second guy says, “They won’t let us in with our dogs.”, First guy: “Sure they will, just follow my lead.”, He goes up to the pub, and sure enough, the bouncer says, “I can’t let you in here with that dog.”, He replies, “Oh, I’m blind and this is my seeing-eye dog.”, The second guy sees this and does the same thing. Jessi Smiles constantly likes to remind you she's a girl — and then completely mocks girly stereotypes. “No problem,” the sales clerk answered. “Second door to the right,” says the bartender. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.”, The guy is flabbergasted. Mashable, MashBash and Mashable House are among the federally registered trademarks of Ziff Davis, LLC and may not be used by third parties without explicit permission. A man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. So now I got me a wooden peg.”, “When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. These are the best Vine quotes ever. “What’s the matter?” the psychiatrist asked. In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. “So how do we know if they’re grizzly bear droppings?” asks one of the ramblers. Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?”, I said, “Me, too! More like Hurricane Tortilla.”, “Hey, Tara you want some?” “This b*%th empty. 1. This Ohio University college student is one of Vine's newer stars, recently stacking more than 2 million followers thanks to his absurd antics that often play out in front of an unsuspecting public. The young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. Watch Queue Queue. He's branched out since then, crafting oddball humor and a slew of other weird characters. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. He gives the head monk a long stare and says, “I quit.”, “I’m not surprised,” the head monk says. Viner Iman Crosson (known as Alphacat) had a presidential road to success. I said, “Don’t do it!”, He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. It all happened so fast.” Love animal jokes? *whispering* I like your accent…”, “Next Please.” “Hello.” “Sir, this is a mug shot.”, “Hey, did you happen to go to class last week?” “I have never missed a class.”, “Go ahead and introduce yourselves.” “My name is Michael with a B and I’ve been afraid of insects my entire-” “Stop, stop, stop. “Honey, what’s for supper?”. “What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?”. funny vines clean try not to laugh_ Fun is very important in life... Report. That’s why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.”—Dick Gregory, Father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody tells a lie. Vine is also crawling with its fair share of Jay Z impressions, but none are better than Ry Doon. But instead of wrinkling his nose in disgust, the optimist climbed to the top of the pile, and began gleefully digging out scoop after scoop with his bare hands. These people are masters of the art form. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. If Alphacat is the Obama of Vine, then Shepherd is its Beyoncé. In case you have been living under a rock since 2013, Vine was -(sad face)- a website and app that took the internet and the app store by storm in Winter 2013. He never had a chance!”, The man says, “I don’t know about that. She looks great! Andy Simmons Updated: Jun. Nash Grier is basically Vine's version of One Direction. “But the left arm is a lot longer than the right arm,” he complained. From the funny to the shocking, the creative to the random, these are 75 of the absolute best vines ever. A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, “How long have you been wearing that bra?” The friend replies, “Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment.” Start using these 25 words that will make you instantly sound funny. 35 Ways Musicians and Music Brands Are Using Twitter's Vine App. First, the psychiatrist treated the pessimist. A car hit an elderly man. ya got eggzma?” “I got what?” “You got eggzma?”, “WHAT ARE THOSEEEEE?” “THEY are my crocs!”, “Hi my name is Trey I have a basketball game tomorrow” …, “This is your space, this is your area, she can’t do that to you” …. “I’m not allowed on the couch.”. What’s up? All rights reserved. “Everything is big in Texas,” says the bellhop. 3. She's quickly following their footsteps, racking up a steadily increasing Vine following that will follow her into the film and TV world. Become a BuzzFeed News member. A skeleton walks into a bar. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy. Andrew Bachelor, known to Vine users as King Bach, is all physical.

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